


Heavy Heart

by theothardus



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Heart-to-Heart, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 02:51:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20056831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theothardus/pseuds/theothardus
Summary: What was the catalyst for Ed's confession to Winry? Short introspective fluff.





	Heavy Heart

“So, uh, brother...”

Al’s voice broke Ed’s focus. Tension pulled his eyebrows in as he was aiming the hammer, making sure to avoid his previously injured finger. 

He turned to his brother, who was sitting casually on the shingled incline as he watched him fix the roof. Mostly, he was appreciating the view of the mountains.

Ed waited for Al to speak, unpleased with the interruption. Fixing things wasn’t his strong suit, not when he relied on transmuting for so long, and doing things he wasn’t great at made him moody. 

When Al said nothing, Ed spoke up impatiently, “What is it?”

Ed could read him like a basic alchemy text. Al looked hesitant, like he was trying to choose his words carefully. Like he wanted to say something, but to avoid Ed’s temper, he wasn’t going to be blunt. 

Finally Al said, “What’s going on between you and Winry?”

Ed’s eye twitched. He turned back to his task at hand, raising the hammer.

“What are you going on about?” he replied.

Al paused, enough time for the hammer to make its blow before he could formulate his next sentence. 

Turned away, he said, “Well... you guys, uh... have been acting differently. For a while.”

Ed lowered the hammer again. “How is that?” 

Al continued to tread carefully, “You know... you’ve been spending a lot of time together... you guys hug more... you’ve been a lot nicer to her... she stares at you  a lot  when you aren’t looking...”

“What, I’m not usually nice to— she stares at me?” Ed’s insult turned into intrigue. 

Al continued, “You guys have come a long way since we came home two years ago. I can’t help but think that something has happened I don’t know about...”

A sharp clunk sounded against the roof. Ed let go of the hammer altogether. 

“Alright, Al, what are you gettin’ at?” he said, mouth twisting into a frown. 

“_Nothing_,”  Al teased in a sing-song voice. His brother’s growl made him burst into laughter.

“Oh come on, brother!” he said in between laughs. “There’s no point in hiding it, it’s so obvious! Everyone in Resembool knows you two are together.”

“Together?!” Ed nearly choked on his voice. “Like... What kind of together?”

Judging from his maddening blush, Ed knew the answer to his own question. Al had to support himself so his fits of laughter wouldn’t roll him off the roof.

Ed tried to return to his work, but the red in his face couldn’t be calmed. “We’re not... it’s not like that.”

That made Al stop laughing. Something in Ed’s voice sounded regretful.

“Sure,” Al said, slowly. His expression dropped any humor he previously had. “But... that’s not what it looked like when you go into her room at night sometimes—don’t kid me around, I have eyes.”

“W—“ Ed’s body jerked like he had been caught. “I go to her room and we talk!”

“Talk?” Al’s eyebrow quirked. “Well, you must have said or did something to get Winry looking at you like that.”

That made Ed’s blush return, as well as a kick of bravado. Al could sense this newfound confidence. His golden eyes widened.

“Brother,” Al started. “You mean to tell me... that in two years, you _ never _ said anything to her?  _Nothing?_”

Ed didn’t want to answer that. He brought down his hammer with the strength of his biceps to fill the silence. He thought back to when he and Al came back home after the Promised Day, weak in body but strong in heart, as they laid eyes on the yellow house on the hill. He recalled Al asking him, _“_ _ And what about you... and winry ?" _

Now that they achieved their goals, there was no excuse. Edward had to let his subconscious feelings bubble up to the surface. He had to sort out what those emotions meant. His father’s death, his brother’s body, what his new path should be... and Winry.

In the hospital, he had a lot of time to think. He harbored some thoughts that were new to him.

Ed wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to be the good friend he never could be to her. He wanted the simple life, the quiet content that he had been missing in the past years, with her.

He was just really fond of Winry. That’s all it was. He was thankful for her as a friend and as his mechanic. She grew up with him. She gave him an arm and leg to stand on. She cried for him and Al when they couldn’t cry for themselves. Her independence and aptitude for mechanics was impressive. Her work never let him down in a fight. She was the most empathetic and dedicated woman he knew. How could he not be fond of her?

Still, why did she make him so nervous? Friends don’t make friends nervous. 

Moreover, he wanted her all to himself. That wasn’t normal.

He wrestled with these thoughts for days, his body restless in the hospital bed. Then, the war with his thoughts ended, and it hit him like a shower of gunfire.

“ _ Shit _ ,” Ed hissed, pounding his fist into his head. 

He liked a girl.

This was new territory he did  not  feel confident in exploring. 

Maybe “liking a girl” was disingenuous— this was not a girl. This was Winry. Not to mention that “like” seemed too light of a w ord. She made his heart heavy.

So, when the brothers stood before the Rockbell home, and Al questioned him, his mouth parted wordlessly. What he did not expect, is for calm to wash over him. 

_ “Why are you crying, Winry?” _

_ “Your hands... they weren’t meant to kill.” _

_ “The next time I make you cry, I hope they’ll be tears of joy!” _

_ “So bake me an apple pie, and keep it warm...” _

That feeling, it has been there all along, gaining momentum. There was no turning back, his brain would not allow it. Their dynamic now had an extra layer that couldn’t be shed. 

Yet, it never occurred to him in the next two years to say what they both were thinking. He didn’t know how she felt for sure, and he cherished their friendship. He didn’t know if he could be a good man for her, anyway. She deserved someone that could give her everything. 

In little ways, he tried to tell her. Appreciative smiles, lingering hugs, mock arguments that bordered on the line of flirting. 

“You’re leaving in two weeks,” Al interrupted his thoughts.

“Hm? What about it?” Ed replied.

“Brother. Winry is a smart, beautiful girl. If you leave, and don’t say anything, another guy will.”

Ed looked at him, stunned. Even the suggestion of someone else made his skin crawl.

“That ain’t gonna happen—“

“Think so?”

“I-I was her first kiss!”

It was true. A storm had trapped them in a barn together, which was a cute memory muddied by the fact that they awkwardly never spoke of it after they left.

Al raised his eyebrows. They lowered back down and he pinched the crinkles between them. “So you left her confused, then.”

“What?”

“You can’t just kiss her then say see ya later, expecting her to wait around. That’s flighty. You have to let her know what she means to you.”

Irate, Ed went back to work. “Geez, Al, where have you been getting experience with women to be giving me this kind of advice?”

Al shrugged him off, getting ready to climb down the ladder. 

“Listen to me or don’t. Winry will figure it out for herself.”

Ed watched Al bitterly as he descended from the roof. He resented the pressure Al just dropped on his shoulders. He resented himself even more, for expecting Winry to pause her life for him, never stopping to think that she could have any guy she wanted, and the more distance he put between them, without defining their relationship, the more of a chance he had to lose his opportunity with her forever.

He had two weeks. He just needed to find the words.

_ Please, Win. I don't know if I deserve you, but please be patient with me. _


End file.
